If observing fellow humans is among your interests in life, then come ponder some of the great mysteries of the world with me for a couple of moments. But beware, I think I have found one explanation that covers most of the madness we witness on a day to day basis. But I’ll get to that later.
There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t find myself scratching my head and wondering what thought process created the actions of some people we hear about in the news.
For example, the motorist who decided the driver of a tractor-trailer semi was driving too fast and drove his SUV in front of the monster rig causing it to overturn, destroying the truck, endangering the lives of the driver, other motorists, himself and the cargo aboard the rig.
Or the rocket scientist (just kidding, he might not have even been employable) who’s famous last words were, “Hey, watch this,” as he unsuccessfully attempted to swallow a rather large fish he had just caught, ending in tragedy, and choked to death.
There are more. In my opinion, insane actions which leave me searching for a reasonable explanation, like alligator handlers, or the Steve Irwins of the world, who just can’t leave wild animals to their own elusive existence. People who seek public political office, or the person who doesn’t have any respect for a perfectly mechanically sound airplane, insisting on jumping out of it in mid-flight.
There are people who fight bulls, people who bungy jump, people who swing on a trapeze without a net, people who walk tightropes between tall buildings, people who box rather than watch boxing, people who MMA fight rather than watch MMA fighting, people who jump off cliffs with nothing more than a kite, people who run from police, people who text and drive, apply make-up while driving, people who drink and drive, people who do drugs and drive, and don’t get me started on people who catch, buy and raise spiders, and drive — just checking to see if you’re paying attention.
Please don’t misunderstand me. I, too, have performed some less than Nobel Prize winning acts that I am not particularly proud of. I will not list them here as my children or grandchildren may be reading. Not to mention, on a few of those things the statute of limitations may not have expired, and I don’t want to incriminate myself.
What do I believe to be the cause of such profoundly uncivilized behavior? I have found an interesting connection between committing silly to completely senseless acts of insanity, and one tiny act that perhaps you are doing while reading this. Eliminating this one thing from my daily routine — again, I believe, has reduced my urges to do crazy things like exploring volcanoes up close and personal.
Ready? Here it is. Don’t push the Q-Tip so far back into the ear canal when cleaning your ears. I am convinced that there must be brain cells that are interrupted when you do this. So, just pull back a little when cleaning your ears, and see if the desire to hurl yourself off buildings on a tricycle doesn’t subside. What else could it be?
Herb Day is a longtime local radio personality and singer-musician. He can be heard Tuesday mornings from 8 a.m. to noon on 88.7 WOBO-FM, and can be reached at [email protected]