Who should make the final decision?


Am I the only husband that has been sent back to closet after hearing, “That doesn’t work, go back and try again?”

I thought I looked just fine today. But my wife strongly disagreed this morning. After digging deep in my soul and eating a little humble pie, I knew she was correct. Every guy, including me, must come to terms with the fact that our better half is often better at certain things.

In my 13 years as a real estate agent I have found that although buying and selling a home is a joint venture, there is often a dominant player. It could be the husband, or it could be the wife. Unlike the past when husbands made the final decision, today it could either be the husband or the wife.

Let’s look at Mr. and Mrs. Buyer. Mrs. Buyer loves the home the couple just viewed. She feels this is the home they need to purchase. The massive kitchen with granite counter tops on cherry cabinets and the master bedroom both are just what the family needs. The backyard is gorgeous, and it even has an inground pool.

Mr. Buyer is excited about the 30-foot by 50-foot man-cave with the shop area. In the corner he even eyes an upright air compressor! Rebuilding that old hotrod could be in his future. To top it off the basement has a room large enough for the pool table he has had in storage for years.

He then pulls himself back to the present and the sagging roof with shingles beginning to curl up. Wow, can they spend another $10,000 to replace it in the next couple years. Not to mention the wet area near the leach lines that is just waiting for someone to throw money into its repair.

What are the Buyers to do? They both love the home, but only one of them see the roof or the wet area as a concern. Should they move forward, or look for a house that may not have what they want, but needs no repairs? Which one of them makes that call?

When a couple purchases a home it’s kind of like the way a partnership in business works. One partner can kill the entire deal with a “no,” but it also takes two “yesses” for the deal to happen. If you really think about it, that is a fair way to operate. We all have our own areas of expertise. Each partner is better in some areas than the other. Some of us a may need to be reminded of that at times.

When my wife and I make large or small decisions, it can at times be a process. Some things are so obvious to me that I can’t fathom how she doesn’t care or even see what I see so plainly. I am sure she could probably say the same about me. Yet at other times, it is not even a process at all. We seem to be completely on the same page. I am sure whether it is a home or a shirt to match the khakis, all couples can relate.

So, to answer my own question: Who should make the final decision when it comes to buying a home?

“Two heads are better than one, not because either is infallible, but because they are unlikely to go wrong in the same direction.” – C.S. Lewis.

Randy Butler is a lifelong resident of Highland County and a licensed real estate agent for Classic Real Estate in Hillsboro.

Randy Butler Contributing columnist
https://www.timesgazette.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/33/2019/06/web1_Butler-Randy-new-mug-1.jpgRandy Butler Contributing columnist

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