First off, let’s get this out of the way — I don’t like pumpkin pie. Never will, and you can’t make me. For this I am resolute and unapologetic.

Also, and this may be shocking to many, I’m not crazy about turkey. That said, there are many a Thanksgiving dish I do savor, hence my Thanksgiving Dinner Power Rankings. Remember kids, before you get all up in arms and whatnot these are simply my personal preferences, so chillax. I also realize some of these are actually sides and not traditional Thanksgiving fare, but I’m an adult (sort of) so I can do what I want. Let’s start at the bottom and work our way up:

10. Honey Glazed Ham — Big ham guy here, but it has to be honey glazed. Nothing like a good glazin’ of honey, amirite? Scrumptious.

9. Garlic Butter Cheesy Crescent Rolls — Yep. And butter those suckers up like a boss. Can’t have too much butter, heart attacks be damned.

8. Baklava — Can a Greek dish like Baklava be considered a Thanksgiving dish? Damn straight it can, because it’s delicious. Love that flaky phyllo pastry, man.

7. Oyster Stuffing — I know, I know. I don’t like turkey but I like stuffing. I’m a complex individual. Deal with it. P.S. — Must use Old Bay in the recipe. I learned this from someone who can actually cook.

6. Garlic Parmesan Mashed Potatoes — Love it. Something about that garlic and parmesan mix that I love. On a related note, I can’t handle chunky mashed potatoes. Blech.

5. Deviled Eggs — My sister Sara makes some killer deviled eggs that are unsurpassed. A holiday staple.

4. Sausage Rolls with Worcestershire Sauce — So good. Heaven with a touch of tangy crispiness.

3. Garlic Parmesan Stuffed Mushrooms — Aw, man. Add some cream cheese, black pepper and some other stuff and go to town on those bad boys. T-a-s-t-y.

2. Bacon Wrapped Spicy Meatballs — Let’s see … spicy? Check. Meatballs? Check. Bacon? Hell yes. Gimme those small ones that you pick up with a toothpick and I may down 20 in a single sitting.

And No. 1 is … Pepper Jack Macaroni and Cheese — Because, of course, it is. To not like mac ‘n’ cheese is downright un-American, man. I’m a bit of a cheese snob, and I’ll take freshly grated cheese over packaged grated cheese all day, every way. Anywho, you simply can’t go wrong with this cheesy bowl of goodness.

Aaaand I’ve made myself hungry again. Catch y’all later.

Dave Shoemaker is a retired teacher, athletic director and basketball coach with most of his professional years spent at Paint Valley. He also served as the national basketball coach for the island country of Montserrat in the British West Indies. He lives in Southern Ohio with his best friends and companions, his dogs Sweet Lilly and Hank. He can be reached at https://shoeuntied.wordpress.com/.