As a lot of you know I lost my dog Sparky on Aug. 4, 2021. Sparky was a legend among many far and wide. His antics, bravery and intelligence put a smile on the faces of so many. The Spark helped me through a really tough period of my life that saw me lose several close family members and friends, and for that I am forever grateful. After Spark passed I couldn’t even begin to think of getting another dog. After all, I still had Sweet Lilly who’d been through a lot herself. So, I wasn’t ready and I didn’t want to stress Lilly out with a new rescue in the house.

Lilly hadn’t been the same since her best friend died, often skipping meals and hiding under the bed for long periods of time. She even slept under the bed rather than up top near me as was her usual habit. She was grieving like I was, and although I did my best to snap her out of it nothing seemed to work.

Then one day, out of the blue, I received a message. It was from my cousin.

It seems my cousin’s niece was a foster mom for rescued dogs and she had a puppy that she thought I might be interested in. Rescuers were sent to save dogs that were stranded in the Kentucky flooding during the summer of 2022, and at one point one of them saw a little wriggling body in the mud. It turned out to be a pup that would soon be known as Hank.

Yep, after seeing that photo something was rekindled inside of me. Was it because he looked like Sparky? Probably. In any case I was smitten with the little guy and began the process of bringing him to his forever home.

He was mine within a week. When I put him in the Jeep with Lilly, she was immediately alert and curious as most dogs would be. When we got home it continued, and from the moment Lilly met Hank she was reborn. She began sleeping on the bed, gobbled up every meal, and returned to her former incredible self. Somewhat miraculously, to this day she continues to age backwards. She has more pep, eats voraciously, enjoys car rides, and loves to play tug of war with Hank. It is truly amazing. For her, Hank has been a savior.

In the beginning Hank was a prodigious chewer/eater, and although he still chews/eats stuff, most of it is not my personal property. Before though? Not good. In the past year-plus Hank chewed, among other things, my glasses, numerous twigs, mulch, rocks, dead moles, pine cones, a balloon, socks, rugs, my coffee table, my neighbor’s truck tire, dirt, a plastic baggie, a tennis ball, a McDonald’s sack, my sister’s cat’s food, my sister’s dog’s food, my food, the neighbor’s Halloween scarecrow, and seven guaranteed to be indestructible dog toys.

In addition, Hank has proven to be a mischievous prankster and a thief of the highest order. He has burgled several items in my neighborhood, including a work glove, a helium party balloon, several Amazon packages (thankfully I have great neighbors), a fake bloody human hand, a brand new hammer, a Little Mermaid T-shirt, a full pack of cigarettes, a hamburger with grill marks that was still hot to the touch, a hot dog (same), a light switch cover, and a BMW hood emblem.

Note: All stolen items were returned to their rightful owners. I think.

Hank is a fierce defender of our property. During his time here he has defended our house from the following enemies: The UPS man (several times), the Horizon man, a kid on a bicycle, my neighbor Bob cleaning his gutters, many butterflies, a neighbor’s Halloween scarecrow, many blowing leaves, a sketchy looking plastic bag, cats, rabbits, squirrels, various and sundry birds, and my ice maker. He also, like Sparky, is the arch enemy of my sweeper. Hank also scared the bejesus out of a little old lady innocently walking by our house. Hey, Hank thought she looked shady. Who am I to question his judgement?

One morning last winter as I was showering Hank was causing a ruckus in the living room. This in itself is not unusual as Hank is quite the rabble rouser. Nobody can rouse a rabble quite like Hank. This time it was more intense however, so I snuck a peek to see what was up. Seems Hank was warning me about a 4-foot snowman the kids across the street had constructed in their yard. More recently Hank barked for several minutes at an inflatable Grinch on our street until I managed to convince him that Sweet Lilly and myself were indeed safe. In Hank’s world everything is perceived as a threat. Good boy Hank.

By the way, Hank has the bark of a 70-pound Rottweiler. Let me tell you, it is ferocious. That said, if the Manson family ignored that bark and broke into my home Hank would immediately be besties with Charlie and his gang and accompany them on their next murderous spree.

Providing they had treats, of course.

Hank, like Sparky, loves his toys. He brings them out, throws them in the air, and generally acts a fool with them. It is adorable. Sweet Lilly just stares at him like he’s insane, which he sort of is. Hank also loves to frolic. Nobody frolics like Hank. He’ll get the zoomies and just run like hell, leaping up at tree limbs, butterflies and the occasional low flying bird. Although he hates the extreme cold he loves to play in the snow. He runs around madly whilst using his snout as a plow, leaping about and basically acting like he’s nuts. His best friend (after Lilly) is an 80-pound poodle named Bo who lives next door. They frolic daily.

Hank’s intelligence is still under question. Although he has used deductive reasoning to retrieve a dead mouse from under a pile of logs, he has also run into a tree whilst pursuing a cat.

I sent for Hank’s DNA and it turns out he’s what they call a Super Mutt. A Super Mutt has at least 15 breeds of dog in them. Hank, amazingly, has 16. Here are Hank’s results: Hank is 27% Australian cattle dog, 20% Australian shepherd, 13% Chihuahua, 9% beagle, 7% miniature American shepherd, 4% rat terrier, 3% border collie, 3% rottweiler, 2% American pit bull, 2% poodle, 2% American Eskimo, 2% bassett hound, 2% collie, 2% chow, 2% cocker spaniel, and 1% smooth fox terrier.

Oh, and Hank is also 100% Good Boy. On the other hand, I guess that depends on your perspective.

Bottom line, Hank has been a pain in the butt. He has been an agent of chaos since the day I brought him home. He’s far from perfect and has driven me crazy. He and Lilly play tug of war daily and generally cause havoc in our house. He’s annoying. He’s loud. He’s disruptive. He knocks over things. He can be annoying as hell.

But, he’s also brought a new energy into a house that had lost so much of it when Sparky crossed the Rainbow Bridge. And best of all, because of Hank, Lilly has been reborn. For her, Hank has been a godsend.

And he’s also been a godsend for me.

Dave Shoemaker is a retired teacher, athletic director and basketball coach with most of his professional years spent at Paint Valley. He also served as the national basketball coach for the island country of Montserrat in the British West Indies. He lives in Southern Ohio with his best friends and companions, his dogs Sweet Lilly and Hank. He can be reached at https://shoeuntied.wordpress.com/.