A little over a month ago I had the honor of officiating a 97-year-old woman’s funeral. I did not know her well, so when I met with her family and friends, I asked a lot of questions about her to prepare a service that would be reflective of her life. I learned that she was born and raised in Highland, Ohio, just to the north of Hillsboro. I also learned that she had two older brothers, both of whom went overseas and served as tank drivers in World War II. One of the brothers came back, and one didn’t.

I was curious to find out more about the brother who was killed in action so I looked up his name, Robert Tolle, on the internet. I found two documents: a marriage license and an application for a headstone. I found the contrast in the nature of the two documents to be jarring. Robert was married in May of 1941. He and his wife were in their early 20s. Examining the other document, I learned that Robert was killed in action in Belgium in March of 1945. He had almost made it through the war but was killed just a couple of months before it ended. He and his young wife were married for just a few years, and for a sizeable amount of that marriage they were apart while he was fighting in the war.

As I stood before the crowd of people in the funeral home, it struck me with force the price that Robert paid in serving our country. Robert’s brother and sister (both of them now passed) lived long full lives that lasted for decades. They had careers, vacations, family get-togethers, and a seemingly endless amount of days. They both had many years of marriage. There were children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren for his brother, and his sister (the woman I was conducting the funeral for) had many rich and lasting friendships with people all of her life. Robert missed out on all of that.

Robert’s body was initially buried in France, then was disinterred and brought home to Highland where he was buried in the cemetery behind the local church where his family attended. I was told that his mother, Lillian, had an especially difficult time after the war with the loss of her son, as you can imagine.

It is people like Robert and his sacrifice that we honor on Memorial Day. Memorial Day is different from Veterans Day. Veterans Day is for all who have served in our military forces. Memorial Day honors those who didn’t come back. I make it a habit of thanking veterans for their service when I see them, but I never get to tell those like Robert how much I appreciate and honor their sacrifice.

Often, official holidays come and go and we don’t connect much to the meaning of the holiday. It’s nice to have a long weekend, an extra day off, but the thought behind the holiday gets lost. Memorial Day is one of those holidays that shouldn’t be that way.

Jesus once talked about the kind of sacrifice honored by Memorial Day. In talking about love and about his own impending death on a cross, he said. “Greater love has no one than this: that he lay down his life for his friends.” John 15:13

I’ve known lots of veterans both in my own family and in the various churches I have served as pastor. I learned from one gentle old man in my first church not to question too closely about combat as it dredges up a lot of memories that are hard to deal with. On the few occasions, though, when a veteran wanted to talk about it, they typically describe the motivation during battle as not an esoteric serving of the country, but a very specific thought of not letting their buddies down right next to them. They are willing to die not only for their country, but more specifically for their friends. That is what Jesus describes as the supreme form of human love.

If anyone ever asks me why I love and serve Jesus Christ with my life, it goes back to this idea: he was willing to lay down his life for me. I didn’t deserve it. I could never merit it. I can only be grateful for it and do my best with the life given to me to serve him well. I don’t know of any other god that comes close to the kind of love exemplified by Jesus Christ. How could there be a higher love than to be willing to die?

On this Memorial Day weekend, I hope you enjoy the time spent with your family and friends. Grill some good tasting meat (that’s my plan). Watch some baseball. Have an enjoyable time celebrating life together. Don’t forget, your enjoyment and freedom were bought at a high price. One of the people who paid that high price was named Robert Tolle from Highland, Ohio.

Derek Russell is pastor of the Hillsboro Global Methodist Church. He loves Jesus, family, dogs and football.